June 23

Location: Tahanea
I feel wiped. My legs are very weak. I woke up feeling energetic but over exerted myself and had to nap around noon. My hands are very tingly. I really hope this gets better. I feel the same as I did yesterday and did not notice any discernable improvement. We can not leave until we are strong enough to sail. I am hoping that will occur by mid week. We are low on food but can stay here until next weekend. It is around a 3 day trip to Tahiti which will be okay. Jordan is positive we will feel better. We are going to have to be careful in how we use our energy. It makes it hard to take care of Jonah when we are both not feeling well. Particularly since Jordan is very ill and I have to do a lot.

The Zodiac (which got punctured during the fishing trip) is patched and staying filled. We put it back in the water with Chris and Markus's help. I need to go burn trash on the beach but I felt too lousy today. I am hoping to do it tomorrow.

Jordan's journal gives a good explanation of ciguatera. Bad luck. I think I would have preferred to get Dengue Fever but - oh - there is still time.

I am reading tons. Just started Lawrence Durell's Alexandria Trilogy. I wish I knew more about the author and the context in which he wrote the book. It is interesting and reminds me a great deal of D. H. Lawrence. Wonderful writing, a focus on sexuality and psychology with loads of dense descriptions. I am only on the first book "Justine". It seems a wee bit old fashioned in its obsession with sexuality or am I just jaded? There is no social or political concern whatsoever and it sometimes makes the characters seem shallow and egotistical. Speaking of which - I just finished Phillip Roth's American Pastoral. I haven't really ever read his work. Somewhat oddly related to Durell. I don't know if I liked the book - the main character really ticked me off, so passive and unconscious - a metaphor for postwar generation? Is everything/body a metaphor in a fiction or can it just be a strange character? Is it just a pipe? Is this what Roth wants me to ponder? I prefer when Phillip Roth's alter ego Zuckerman is in the story. Zuckerman is so genuine but cynical at the same time - he is funny. I hated the ending of the book which culminates in a dinner party at which Swede, the protagonist, realizes his life is a sham. Roth goes back and forth in time and ends somewhere in the middle. I like being pissed off about the book though. It was a bigger book than just about Zuckerman and Swede but in a very intricate way. It kept me confused about the characters and their motivations.

I am too tired to write more. Jordan has made hamburger buns so we can eat hamburgers. He was outraged that I would consider eating a burger without a bun. It took a while since we are not feeling well. Everything requires extensive rest periods.